Thursday, January 27, 2011


As you can see to the right I have put up an awkwardly placed ticker with the countdown to our son's birth!!  He will be born via scheduled c/section at noon on March 21, 2011.  It seems like SO far away still, but I know it's coming up quickly!

My OB told me that I needed to travel.  She is giving me until 34 weeks to do anything I'd like to do since things are going so well.  The diabetes is managed well, I've had almost no contractions, no swelling, good blood pressure.  The TAC is a miracle worker.

Our little guy is SUCH a big mover.  At 28 weeks he was breech, and I really don't think he's flipped yet. I feel almost constant punching/kicking simultaneously in my right ribs and left hip.  My belly is starting to move like an alien, from side to side, and jerking quickly up and down.  Silly boy!!!

I'm 30w6d today and I bet he's close to 4 lbs at least.  I am currently meeting with my OB every 2 weeks to monitor my glucose levels and b/p and growth.  No more ultrasounds until 36 weeks, though, unless something is worrisom enough to deem it necessary.  At my appt. this week, my uterus measured 32 weeks, or 2 weeks ahead of schedule!  In doing some reading, I'm guessing I'm measuring bigger because he's likely still breech.

We had to give her the name of a pediatrician (gasp!), I have to get pre-registered with the hospital (double gasp!) and I'm meeting with said pediatrician this Friday (eeeeek!).  Things are really getting real.  On a daily basis, I think about a "take home baby," yet I still feel like it's such an abstract impossibility.  All signs are pointing to bringing home a healthy son, I just can't grasp it.  I'm preparing, going through the motions, but not really acknowledging that it's happening to me and not someone else.  So totally weird, I know, but such is the mind of a woman who's had such tragedy and loss and struggle in her life.  I can't wait to see him in the flesh, alive and breathing, eyes opening and closing.  I can't wait.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I've been a bit MIA lately, not for any physical reasons.  Everything is going pretty well, in fact.  The gestational diabetes is being controlled by diet, I got my Rhogam shot, baby boy is measuring perfectly, and I'm now seeing my OB every 2 weeks.  He has a name, a crib, a bassinet, lots of clothes, books, a car seat.  Physically, we're getting ready.

However, things are emotionally difficult for me right now as the anniversary of the births and deaths of our twins is coming swiftly.   I actually scheduled a Labor/Delivery Tour at my hospital with my husband and a good friend and her husband for February 5.  I only today put it together that it will mark one year to the day that our first son Jonah was born and died, and the awful rollercoaster week that ended with the birth and death of his brother Noah.  As of right now I am keeping the appointment, since I really do want the tour.  Despite being there for a week I have no clue what anything was like.  I have NO idea how I will react.  If I run into one of the nurses (especially Louann, who delivered Noah herself and was SO amazing and motherly to me) I will most definitely lose it... (EDIT: Louann was there and assisted in the emergency c/s delivery of Isaac.  Creepy!).  There are just WAY too many memories there.  On one hand, I feel if I go it will desensitize me a little so when I do deliver our take-home baby, I may hurt a little less.  I'm SO terrified that I'm going to give birth to this son and not want to hold him because I'll be painfully reminded of the ones I didn't get to bring home.

I feel torn.  I should be excited, yet I'm having days where I'm perfectly content to lay in bed and cry.  I'm just really conflicted right now.  That's the most I can say about it.  I'm not going to try to analyze it, I'm just going to feel it.  I'm certain other baby-loss moms out there totally understand me.

I've been really bad about the weekly check-ins lately, so here it is for 29w5d (today):

How far along? 29w5d, a squash, I believe.  He should be a little over 3 lbs.

Weight gain/loss: 10-12 depending on the scale

Sleep? IIt's getting more uncomfortable and bathroom trips are not bringing as much relief as they previously were!
Best moment this week? Watching my stomach move and twist.  A few days ago Keith was on the laptop, I was reading, and the dogs were at the foot of the bed sleeping.  All of a sudden, little man started jerking and twitching and started shaking a KING size bed and all it's occupants.  He's a strong one!!!!

Movement: So much, and he's been punching the same spot over and over again.  His head was near my belly button facing to the right, so his hands are punching my right side, and something is simultaneously hitting my left hip.  I feel like he's running in place all the time!  He's going to be high energy that's for sure.
Food cravings: Turkey sandwich with "dog cheese" (Kraft singles, we use it to give the dogs their meds) and mayo with a Diet Dr P.  Also, ice cream with peanut butter and Hershey's syrup.  Those have been what I look forward to most each day.

What I miss? I hate this question. <-- Still the same

What I am looking forward to? Baby shower on January 29!

Milestones: He has SUCH an amazing chance at survival now.  We are scheduling the c/s at my next appt in a week (either March 18 or 25, depending on my OB's Spring Break schedule (yes)) and I have an appt with a pediatrician next Friday!  It really is happening.
What I'm nervous about: Nothing yet...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Third Tri Check-In

How far along? 27w5d, an eggplant! Yesterday he was 2 lb, 11 oz!!!

Weight gain/loss: 9 lbs at OB office

Sleep? I'm still sleeping well, but at 3 am, I wake up starving!  Thanks to GD, I can't eat anything :(
Best moment this week? Seeing him yesterday was magical.

Movement: All the time!  He's a mover and shaker.

Food cravings: Triscuits. Non stop.

What I miss? I hate this question.

What I am looking forward to? Baby shower on January 29!

Milestones: Almost 3 lbs, officially in 3rd trimester!
What I'm nervous about: Nothing!