Weekly Check-In

How far along? 17w3d, an onion - not an attractive "fruit"
Weight gain/loss: still -2, but that's okay!
Sleep? The windows are open at night with a very cool breeze, I'm sleeping great!
Best moment this week? Crazy punches and kicks are awesome!
Movement: Yes, it's amazing!
Food cravings: I really wanted a Sonic cherry limeade yesterday, so I went and got a big one!
What I miss?  I'm missing Jonah and Noah this week.
What I am looking forward to? Tomorrow - gender MAY be determined for sure!
Milestones:
What I'm nervous about: Today (17w3d) is the exact gestation when I started to lose the twins.  Jonah was delivered at 17w4d.  I know that nothing like that can happen again, thanks to my TAC, but today and this week is very anxious for me.  I'm remembering what it was like to hold his tiny body, how all his features were so developed.  Knowing that his little brother or sister is the same size as him today is bittersweet.
 
Remembering Jonah today and always.  I miss my little boys.
 

October 15 - Wave of Light

At 7 pm in their local time zones, people across the world will be lighting the night with candles to remember babies who were gone too soon.  In my small circle of the world, I know of many babies who were lost before they were named, were born without breath, were born too soon with no chance of survival, or were only on earth for a short time. I will take the time to try to list all the babies I can think of whose stories and memories touched my life, and I will be thinking of them especially today.

My Noah and Jonah
Caleb
Aidan
Avery, Alexander and Triplet C
Baby S
Baby Tx3
Aurora
Christian
Baby W
Baby Squirt
Avery
Jillian
Baby B
Ella
Olivia
Oliver
Liliana
Luke
Seamus
Noah
Ryan
Thor
Baby M
Keely
Evelyn
Grace
Jonathan
Adrian
Gabe
Daniella
Emi

Posted Jonah and Noah's Story

They deserve their own tab, so you will see it above.  I copied my story from my personal blog of the horrific week when I lost them, rather than re-type the entire thing.  I will miss them forever, and re-reading the story and seeing their gorgeous and perfect little bodies makes me hurt for them all over again, but they are the reason I am moving forward.  Their memory gives me strength and courage to fight for their earthly siblings' futures.